Episode 6 – Donnie Darko

The guys get all timey wimey as they try to piece together what actually happens in Donnie Darko while drinking Dream Crusher by Deep Ellum Brewing Company and Philosophizer by Adelbert’s Brewery. They each get spirit erections while gushing about Gary Jules’ Mad World and Richard learns that calling a beer a double doesn’t actually mean that it has double anything.

Talking points include…

Zac tries his hand at rapping some Biggie Smalls:

A terrifying, giant bunny named Frank and this nice piece of foreshadowing:


Water Dicks/Soul Erections:
soul erection

What the hell is this guy’s deal???
fat guy in the woods

That beautiful, perfect ending with “Mad World” by Gary Jules:

 

Episode 5 – Fever Pitch

The guys figure out why Jimmy Fallon sticks to late night when they watch Fever Pitch while drinking The Salty Lady by Martin House and Love Stuck Hefe by Ranger Creek. The guys try to figure out how Lucas candy became a thing and that all unmarried people over 30 need to be taken behind the shed and shot.

Talking points include…

How baffling Lucas “candy” is:
LucasCandy

Drew Berrymore’s bipolar looks:

 

Women’s questionable fantasies regarding puking:

Drew Barrymore getting whacked in the face:

A real life BIRDSPLOSION (1:00 mark):

Now Playing: Logan

Logan

Rating: R
Directors: James Mangold
Starring: Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Dafne Keen
Genre: Action, Drama

Synopsis:

Wolverine has watched all of the people he cares about die and is ready to commit seppuku.  But there’s a mysterious girl that has one last request before he does.

The Good:

Ev.  Ry.  Thing.  We get to see the ferocity that should have accompanied Wolverine all along while also seeing the aftermath of living with subjecting people to that level of mutilation.

The Bad:

This isn’t a bad thing, but you need to be prepared for brutal violence and a movie that shows some of your favorite X-people ready to commit suicide.  Otherwise you will hate this movie.

What Else You Should be Watching:

I’ve heard a few people compare this to Children of Men.  I think the plot points are similar but Logan is the better movie, in my opinion.  It’s still worth it to check it out, though.

The Gist:

Oh, that trailer…  I just watched it again and had to stop and savor it for a few minutes afterwards.  The last time I saw a trailer that was that powerful was for Watchmen and, in that instance, the trailer was vastly superior to the movie.  In fact, I was willing to bet the farm that Logan wouldn’t be able to live up to such an incredible trailer but BOY was I wrong.  Everything that you possibly need to know about this movie can be found in that trailer; it perfectly captures the feeling of despair that plagues Logan and the hopelessness that he’s let consume him.

This is not a happy movie.  This is not an X-men movie.  This is not a superhero movie.  This is something else entirely and it’s all the better for it.

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The costumed escapades have been stripped away and what’s left are questions like “What happens when someone who is functionally immortal outlives everyone he cares about?” and “What happens when the most powerful psychic in the world gets dementia?”  We see a Logan who has lost all will to live and a Professor X who reminds you of how hard it is to visit your grandpa in the nursing home.  But that’s the beauty of it.  This movie is able to pluck at feelings as you pine for these fictitious characters in just the right way.  No, it isn’t pretty, but by god is it impactful.

LoganProfX

We also FINALLY get to see a hard R version of a man with claws shooting out of his hands go to town on people (thank you Deadpool for paving the way!) but by the end of it you may regret your wish.  Where Deadpool revels in its completely absurd, over the top ultra-violence, Logan shows us a primal brutality that is terrifying to witness.  But, again, that’s exactly the point.  It’s showing us all of the horrors that Logan has to live with.  This isn’t something he enjoys doing and he’s come to realize the pain that it causes others and he’s ready for it to end.

Don’t get me wrong, there are still plenty of fun moments; this isn’t Batman vs Superman, which was oppressively dreary and void of any humor.  We get to see Logan forced into a mentorship role, the hopefulness of the girl he’s trying to protect and a family roadtrip with Professor X playing the role of ‘gramps’.  But all of that is to help temper the driving themes of loss and redemption.

The only bad thing I have to say about this movie is that it makes a huge mess of the X-Men movie continuity but I’ll save that for an entirely separate post.

DeadpoolContinuity

I’ve heard a lot of people say that Logan is The Dark Knight of the X-Men franchise.  I see what they’re trying to say but I think that’s not giving Logan enough credit.  The Dark Knight was an incredible movie that showed how well done a superhero movie could be but it still operated firmly within the bounds of a ‘super hero story.’  If you ask me, Logan has managed to transcend even that.  This is a heartfelt drama that just so happens to star a guy who has claws for hands.

Logan is not for the faint of heart; you’re treated to the unbridled furor Wolverine fans have been waiting for but also the repercussions of a man living with doing that to human beings.  But if you can steel yourself for the visual and emotional gut punches then you’ll find that this movie has something profound to say.

-R

 

Episode 4 – Osmosis Jones

The guys get a microscopic look at what’s going on inside Bill Murray when they watch Osmosis Jones while drinking Day Off by Tupps Brewing and Off with Your Red by Rabbit Hole Brewing. They reminisce over how terrible 90s music was and Zac manages to successfully convince Richard that Bill Murray was the Adam Sandler of his day.

Talking points include…

So, so many body jokes:
OurFounder

Bill Murray being disgusting:

 

That one guy that no one knows the name of (apparently it’s Chris Elliott?):
ChrisElliott

Sigh…Kidney Rock…

PIKACHU!!!! What the hell are you doing here??
OsmosisJonesPikachu

Laurence Fishburne’s decidedly UN-Laurence Fishburne-like voice:

Episode 3 – Foxy Brown

The guys get their funk on by following Pam Grier into blaxploitation territory with the movie Foxy Brown while drinking Sex Panther by SanTan and Modus Hoperandi by Ska Brewing. There’s an overload of voluptuousness, Zac finds a new carrier in voice over work and a secret form of martial arts is unveiled.

Talking points include:

SanTan’s shitty, yet undeniably awesome can.
SexPantherCan

Modus Hoperandi vs A Band Apart.

That psychedelic intro.

Quarter-assed property destruction (start at the 1:36 mark).

Is the main bad girl secretly Tim Curry?
FoxyBrownBadGuy

Streaming on Netflix: Gantz:O

Gantz:O

Rating: TV-MA
Directors: Yasushi Kawamura, Keiichi Saitô
Starring: Chris Jai Alex, Saori Hayami, Mao Ichimichi, Shûichi Ikeda
Genre: Anime, Action

Synopsis:

A dude gets brought back to life and recruited to defend Tokyo against a demon attack.  Also, this is Anime so things get WEIRD…

The Good:

Surprisingly well done CGI and world building mixed with incredible action mixed and great wish fulfillment for any gamers out there.

The Bad:

Typical overt Japanese sexist archetypes and WTF-ness.

What Else You Should be Watching:

I haven’t seen too many anime so I’m gonna cop out with The Matrix

The Gist:

I’m typically not a huge fan of anime, though I do go through my phases (most notably Dragon Ball Z and Gundam Wing in high school), but this caught my eye while I was browsing through Netflix for some reason.  This movie somehow managed to remind me why I love and hate anime simultaneously.

The premise isn’t necessarily anything new but I do think that they managed to execute it well.  There’s a machine that’s capable of bringing people back to life after they die in order to help fend off demons in the real world…

Did I mention these demons were super Japanese?

The not-dead-anymore humans are equipped with special suits and weaponry in order to give them a better chance, but every ‘invasion’ has a boss and they only have a limited time to finish the ‘level’ before they lose and everyone dies for good.  At the end of the ‘level’ each person is scored, and if you get 100 points then you can either A) get some sweet ass weapon upgrades (big ass guns, vehicles, giant robots, ect) B) resurrect a fallen player or C) have your memory wiped and leave the game, essentially coming back to life in the real world.  So, right off the bat, we are firmly in video game territory, which I found quite pleasing.

The CGI itself was done surprisingly well and I was completely drawn to everything that was happening for the first half of the movie.  It does a great job of world building, firmly establishing how all of the weapons work (each one is uniquely AWESOME but they also all have HUGE drawbacks) as well as the rules of the ‘game’ that it never deviates from (a giant relief since it feels like most content these days only establishes rules in order to break them for shock value).

But. We then see the boss and go from ‘very tame, interesting anime’ straight to ‘HOLY SHIT, WHAT THE FUCK, JAPAN’ in about 6 seconds.

You see, the boss of this ‘level’ is a super old, super short guy who just kinda drunkenly dances around.  Ok, yeah, nothing too crazy here: from the anime that I HAVE seen, the ‘old master’ seems to be a pretty common trope.  He’s essentially a combination of Pei Mei, from Kill Bill: Vol 2, and Bobby Lee’s character from The League.

theleague_bobbylee

An ‘ept’ version of this (shout out to Young Justice).

One of the characters goes at him with a sword, only to find that it’s completely useless against him.  So, naturally, he drops the sword and grabs the boss with his bare hands in order to crush him to death.  We then see a closeup of the boss’s eye between our hero’s fingers and, as he squeezes, it starts to bulge… into a boob. And then we just see naked lady bodies duplicate over and over and OVER until the camera zooms out and we see a giant naked lady comprised of a bunch of normal sized naked ladies.  Oh, and then this monstrosity spits out the guy’s head.

(Picture intentionally not posted because it is SERIOUSLY NOT SAFE FOR WORK!)

WHAT IN THE HOLY FUCK, JAPAN!!!!!!

I mean, I know that Japanese culture has always had a weird relationship with women, but THIS!?!?!  How terrified of women ARE you???  “Hey , kids, every time you see a naked woman I want you to picture a GIANT KILLER NAKED WOMAN made up of duplicates of her.  Good luck with ever having a healthy relationship EVER!”

Sigh.

This bizarre relationship with the ‘fairer sex’ is peppered throughout the entire movie, though that part takes the cake hands down.  It’s constantly pointed out that the main female protagonist has giant boobs, which would be fine if her primary characteristic wasn’t ‘afraid to do anything cause her boyfriend died’; the closest interaction between the main male character and his love interest is her standing a few feet away from him and saying “Let’s live together platonically once all this is over”; and, dear GOD animators, would it kill you to give these poor women some bra support in their ultra high tech killing suits???

reika

Let’s hope they at least have back support…

Part of me is just shaking its head while muttering “Oh, Japan…” (I recently started watching The Seven Deadly Sins on Netflix, where the main male character gropes the main female character at least once per episode)…

melonidasgrope

This is a compelling argument as to why people still have to ‘hide’ the fact that they watch anime.

…while another part is screaming “C,mon! Get with the times! This stuff is NOT ok!”  But I think trying to change Japan’s mind on how it views sex needs to be addressed outside of this article…

Even ignoring the social commentary, I still ultimately found the message of this movie somewhat lacking.  Yes, I really enjoyed all of the action and the gadgets, but I don’t think it’s going to transcend into the pantheon of anime classics like Ghost in the Shell or Akira because it doesn’t really have that much to say.  The truly great anime that I’m aware of all have incredibly deep themes and morals.  The only thing I took away from Gantz:O was ‘You should help other people’ and ‘Teamwork, yo!’

ghostintheshellposter

Pointless nudity? Check. Void of overt sexism? Check. Thought provoking story? Double check.

All in all, I’d say this would be a pretty good ‘starter’ anime for anyone interested in seeing what the genre has to offer.  It’s not going to change your mind if you already have a preconceived notion of what anime is, but if you go in with an open mind then you may find that this is the beginning of a fun little rabbit hole.  Even though Gantz:O isn’t packing anything that would make it truly exceptional, it’s still got a lot of great action supplemented with typical anime fare such as giant mechs and crazy monsters while also giving you a glimpse into the sexist pitfalls and true insanity that accompanies most anime.

-R

 

Episode 2 – Jackie Brown

The guys watch Jackie Brown while drinking Soul Pleasure by Wild Acre and Lagunitas Sucks by, you guessed it, Lagunitas. Zac rants about people that stand still on moving walkways and the term ‘coasting beer’ is coined.

Talking points include:

Lagunitas’s apology letter.

The opening scene and its bitchin’ soundtrack (sorry in advance for getting this song stuck in your head for the rest of the day).

Samuel L. Jackson’s terrifying hair.

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Pam Grier being sassy.

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Stoner De Niro.

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